Oh The Many Blogs You'll Read

I'm not ashamed to admit this is my first step into the world of social networking, I do not have a Bookface account or anything of similar conception. But I find this concept of blogging to be so intriguing it's almost intoxicating. I gives everyone a voice and all others a chance to hear that voice, it helps us to understand what we are learning and how it can be applied to basically anything else. But of course you all know that already. I will not name any blog in particular that has moved or intrigued me, I will just say they all do. Reading blogs, and reading blogs about blogs, make this an almost infinite resource for information and contemplation. Thanks to the Dr. I feel like my eyes have been opened to another reality. I'm learning in ways I never thought possible, and reading in ways I never imagined, and writing in methods I never even considered. And the blogs have been there the whole way. This is my first Sexson class, but I now know its invaluable appeal, I'm signed up for his Bible Lit class in the fall, its too bad I'll be graduating then, well not really, but you know what I mean. I hope to keep blogging in the future and I feel I will never let go of this literature we are studying, and the concepts we are exploring, and to help me in that endeavor I will always have "The Reason and The Rhyme" in my favorite website toolbar. So much for being a Ludite. (I think that's how it's spelled) Keep on Bloggin', I'll be readin'. Thank you, no thank you.

Story Following

Upon reading The Following Story a second time I consciously searched for connections with the class, here are some I made. Much of the book remined me of Beckett, adn how the author merely tries te tell a story, but ultimately can't, and along the way gives the reader clues to the existence of this problem. "But I can't talk to you like this: you can't be both in the story and not in it." It is utterly impossible to seperate the author from the work because so much of what wrting is, is so personal, and universal at the same time. We are merely looking for a different version of the story we have already heard, and living a life differently than we were before. The notion of not knowing where or who you are when ouy wake up still sends chills down my spine. We can never really know can we, if this is just a dream, or what we will wake up to if it is. We can only hope that when our eyes open everyday we remember where we were and how to explore it again.

Smart Alice

Today in class I noticed Rio was setting down his pen in a peculiar manner, it seemed as if it was a very fragile writing utensil. Then in hit me the smart pen, is he recording it right now, I asked, so I checked it later and while I was listing to the audio, I decided I should blog about my highbrow lowbrow experience over spring break. My buddies Craig, and Paul accompanied me to a screening of Alice In Wonderland, while watching the movie I couldn't help but think of this class and its many universally applicable themes. The way the Mad Hatter reacts to Alice's claim that he is just a fictional character in her dream reminded me of the life as fiction theme. The anxiety expressed by someone who wants to exist but in reality does not, is really intriguing. After the movie the three of us headed up to Bear Canyon, as we parked the car the bright sun lit up the trees and illuminated the snow. I reached in the back seat to grab my back pack, filled with essentials. Prior to the trip I filled it up with, a water bottle, a notebook, a frisbee, and The Quartets. When I was in my room I saw it sitting by my bed and to this day I really can't even explain it, but in the process of packing I was compelled to bring the book with me. The group now moved of the trial and we began to climb on mud covered, dirt filled, sparingly snowy terrain. We eventually got to a group of protruding rock formations, the three of us made it to a relatively flat area which had a panoramic view of the valley. I told my roommates that I brought some poetry for the trip. I told them I could read some of it, if they wanted to hear it of course. I could feel a bit of tension as the words let my mouth. 'We won't really understand it, and probably wouldn't read it on our own, but we'll listen, sure', they must be thinking. 'There's a higher spot we can go to,' 'Yeah I can read it up there' I said. Climbing, I start to notice that I'm not really paying that much attention to where I'm placing my feet. I just follow Paul and my feet seem to just follow what my eyes see, its like my eyes are telling my legs what to do with out letting my brain do it instead. We make it to the top, and the view is sublime, a bit terror inducing, made you aware of your utter significance when compared to the vast all encompassing sights of nature. I reach into the pack and flip to the last section of "Little Gidding" 'Are you guys ready' I question

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

They nod politely, but it has that same characteristic of a similar facial gesture one gives when they receive a pair of green wool socks from their aunt on christmas.I told them that I seem to always be carrying this book around with me and I had never done that before with an english book. I like the this stuff can be read over and over again and still not be completely explored. It's immensely complex but equally rewarding and only a few of us experienced souls read it.

Shine On, Alchemist, Shine On

Today I finished reading The Alchemist, and overall I really enjoyed the book. The story was a very intriguing take on exploration and finding one's purpose in life. The way the book was written gave it its own flow and I as a reader felt compelled to keep reading. I could have underlined almost every line in the book, each sentence it seemed, was packed with meaning that not only gave to characters in the book significance, but life as well. Here are a few of the lines I felt had the most profound effect on me. "When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision" (68). This concept is something I've been mulling over in my brain recently. We as people try to do what makes us happy and what we think will make others happy, but every time we decide something we open up a box, if you will, and we never really know what we're gonna get. "'Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now'" (85) Live in the now. It's something I've have also been trying to do, seize the day man, because this moment right now is never coming back. "There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning" (93). "And that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are" (151). The last two quotes I feel really get at what love can and should do for people. It makes everything better and meaningful. Because what is life if you've got no one to share it with. This book really moved me it taught me about how important it is to follow your dreams, and that even if we want to give up, there are people in the world who will help us. We are all the same at heart and that's where we need to look. I found a passage from the Quartets that I think captures this book. "...And what you thought you came for / Is only a shell, a husk of meaning / From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled / If at all. Either you had no purpose / Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured / And is altered in fulfillment."

Also one of the last scenes from the book when the boy becomes one with the wind reminded me of a song by the band, Jet. The song is called "Shine On" and the lyrics are as such.

Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light

And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away yeah

So many times I'd planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand

That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
yeah oh yeah

When the days all feel the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone

So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I may go how far I don't know
I will always be your light

And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away
yeah oh yeah

When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
shine on, for everyone
When the stars all look the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
shine on, for everyone

It's a song about aspiring to your own greatness and how that greatness will affect all those around you, and the way it talks about the sun, moon and wind, was pretty cool too.

This Class Is Everywhere

I'm starting to notice how much these class themes can be applied to basically everything, I feel as though I now look at things differently now, in regards to literature, and, I guess everything else. I can't even watch the lowest of the low brow anymore like I used to, t.v., my mind immediately goes to the class themes and I only seem to pay attention to the elements of the show or movie that can relate to these ideas. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is about a man who ages backwards, be us born a small baby with the physical makeup of an eighty year old, as time goes on he just gets younger. At one point Benjamin returns to the first home he has ever know, and his mother greets him and he responds with, "Everything looks the same." And she says something to the effect of, "When ever you return home it's the same, but it's you that has changed." I now refer you to T.S. Eliot's The Four Quartets, "We shall not cease from exploration / And the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time." On the show Californication I witness a blending of the high and low brow. I know that the book Lolita has been mentioned in regards to how it is a story about a pedophile, but what it should be read for is its language and how it tells us its just a story. Anyway in this particular episode the main character, Hank, has just written a book which he says, "...is a modern version of Lolita..." there are several things going on here. First, that Hank's admittance that this is a novel similar to another communicates his understanding that this has already been done before, this is just his exploration of a particular plot. Second, the story is directly borrowed from a real life event that happened to him, life as fiction. Third, he sees this as a return to his old self, because it has been his first piece in a long time, except he knows it for the first time. So yeah.

The Matrix

Deciding what to fill this post with I chose to write about one of the earliest definitions of matrix I remember encountering. In Algebra I believe it was, we were introduced to a matrix which is a group of numbers with an equal amount of numbers in rows and columns, the size is infinite. The purpose of this matrix as I remember it was to give several numbers which then would be used sequentially to be substituted into any given equation for a specific variable. This sounds way to much like a P2C2E, but that's what all math to me feels like. In the context of this class I think my algebraic definition can be used for its infinite possibilities. If we think of our selves as the equations and life as the numbers, it is us who chooses what the story will tell. Because our stories have already been told we can look to Finnegans Wake as the greatest most encompassing matrix of them all. Well, I guess math does have a place in this world.

Isolation That Purifies

The concept of seclusion and isolation as it is articulated in the play through Prospero's and Miranda's solitariness on the island go me thinking. Mainly about books. Prospero's books have essentially caused him to have a limited social life, besides being banished of course. He is consumed by his books and they have lead him to ascertain great powers. I'm remined of a passage I read in my LIT 420 class, a critical theory class about Harold Bloom's view on literature. The passage comes from his book called, The Anxiety of Influence, in which he writes about the only way in which a modern poet can aspire to true greatness, is to feel, "a sorrow that purifies in isolation." This quote really stuck me with a profound feeling, I read it twice over and underlined it boldly. I think this idea of self reflection can really lead to great things, because there is so much we can be influenced by, yet the exploration of the self leads to a path of profoundly great writing. However, I think after the self is discovered we can then go out and experience the world, in a more knowledgeable and profound way. Much like Miranda, who has only known herself, sees her world as wonderful and awe inspiring, we as writers and people alike need to find ourselves before we find our world.

Puppet Or Even A Slave

The class current class theme is one that can make your head feel as though it will explode if you dwell on it for too long. We can't see our world as fake or illusion if we've never seen what it really is. So in my opinion, just like its been discussed before, is to live in the now. When looking at the analogy of Plato's cave, the concepts of puppets was brought up. Are we really puppets being controlled or written about in someone's novel maybe. But I'm reminded of a Jimmy Cliff lyric from the song "The Harder They Come." When I was a kid my mom used to play this album religiously, along with "American Beauty" and "So Far" by the Dead and CSNY respectively. Anyway the lyric goes, "I'd rather be a free man in my grave than living as a puppet or even a slave." In the context of the cave, I think this can mean we need to understand what we can control and what we can't. Because so much of our world is left to fate, but not all of it. We as people living in this dream can make a future for ourselves, but we have to learn how to make it happen, even if it comes to fruition in another time.

Vive Sus Sueños

The topic of the Tempest, life as a dream, I still find to be very intruging. Mostly because we may never find the answer, at least in this life. I just read Christina's new post about the play called "La Vida es un Sueño" and it got me thinking about something, just like this class always does, about other things this applies to in life, really they are limitless. I enjoy longboarding, its the closest you can come to flying on the sidewalks, and tenth street, which is just a couple of blocks from my house is a favorite spot of mine. It has smooth asphalt, and a perfect slope, not too fast, not too slow, perfect for trippin'. Anyway there is this trailer, camper deal on the street that is painted with bright and vibrant colors. It has depictions of rainbows, children, and I think there is a dog also, oh the lists. At the top of the rear of the trailer it says, Vive Sus Sueños, live you dreams. It never really occurred to me what that meant until just recently. I take it to mean, that life its self is a dream, and we must live in it as such. We need to understand life as a dream, in it anything is possible, the sky is the limit, we make our own destiny, we must go on into the dream and keep dreaming the all the way through.

Life is Fiction

I forgot how deep and moving a movie, Stranger Than Fiction Was, obviously it had a great connection to this class. I liked the part where Kay, was saying, "I killed eight people." Beckett rang though my head, no surprises there. The epiphany came when Dr. Sexson, said, "What story are you in." It was the only line in my notes that day. I have often struggled with this concept myself. I sometimes find my self looking around at people, and thinking, there not real people, as if someone just made them up. I think we have all been here before, because we already existed before, we just keep getting another chance, until we get it right. This just reminded my of The Truman Show, a movie staring Jim Carrey, where he plays a man living in a fake world, literally everyone he knows and sees are actors and he basically lives in a studio for most of his life, and the show is filmed as broadcast on T.V. in the real world. That makes me ask, how could anyone of us really know the difference, maybe this life is fake, maybe I'm just an actor? Leafing through "Burnt Norton" I stumbled across this, "...Words strain, / Crack and sometimes break, under the burden, Under the tension, slip, slide, perish / Decay with imprecision, will not stay in place, / Will not stay still." It made me think about stories and how they try to capture life, try to make it a dream or just a story. Yet as time goes on these words cannot create this perfect dream or story. So keep writing is the answer I guess, I do not guess, I know.

Curb Your Aspergers

The other day in class someone mentioned asperger's syndrome, when we were discussing some of Beckett's characters. I was reminded of a lowbrow show I enjoy watching called, Curb You Enthusiasm. The show centers on Larry David, Seinfeld co-creator, and his horribly socially awkward life as a celebrity in living in L.A. The show is basically life as fiction in that it is loosely based on his real life experiences in a free form unscripted show. Dr. Sexon's story about his airplane ride reminded me of an episode in which Larry determines he can't fire a chef he recently hired, who he just learned has turrets syndrome and will curse at random, because noticed he has numbers on his arm, which Larry believes to be a mark of a Holocaust survivor. These plots make the simple so complex, and everything always comes full circle. Anyway Larry is talking to the chef one day about the lottery, and he finds out the chef was one number away from winning the jackpot, and after divulging this news to Larry he licks his fingers and wipes of the numbers on his arm. Larry obviously, astonished, must have felt similar to Dr. Sexson, he felt deceived, but it was his own thoughts that put the importance on the numbers on the arm, he created his own fiction in life, interesting connection, the more I think about it this show has a lot to do with this class. I recommend checking it out for lowbrow versions of class themes, such as Life as Fiction, Eternal Return, and others possibly.